Depression has to be one of the worst feelings ever. All I want to do is sit in my room alone and cry, and sleep, and then cry again. I have no want to do anything at all. I dont want to talk to anyone, not even my girlfriend, which means that I have been an incredible bitch to everyone that has tried to talk to me. I feel awful for being mean to everyone, but I cant seem to hold my tongue anymore. I am in so much physical pain from the depression too that moving at all hurts so bad, which is more of a reason for me to not get out of bed in the morning. I seem to manage to get my self out of bed, just to move to the couch and sit and stare off into space thinking deeply about shit, which always makes it worse. I have to force myself to eat something, and try my hardest to keep it down. Sleeping pills have become my best friend at night because it is the only way that I will get any sleep at all, and sleeping is the only time that I can escape reality and feel good. Most of the time I have no idea why I am crying, but I cant make myself stop. I feel like nobody understands how I am feeling, and they all expect me to be the same always happy,and always smiling person that they have all come to love. Normally I can put on a good smile when something is bothering me, but I cant even force myself anymore. I want this pain to go away, I want to be happy.